Registration is now closed

WHOSE DISCOMFORT IS THIS?

A free live workshop for the woman who knows her answer...until somebody else’s face changes.

September 24, 2026
11:00 a.m. ET
Live on Zoom
Approx. 1 hour
Free

You had an answer five minutes ago.

Then they sighed.

Their mouth tightened.

They said, “Fine,” in a tone that made it very fucking clear they were not fine.

Now you’re explaining.

Giving more context.

Offering alternatives you don’t actually want.

Trying to prove that your choice is reasonable, fair and definitely not an attack on anybody.

By the end of the conversation, your no has become a maybe, your decision is back under review and you’re carrying the discomfort they handed you.

Later, when nobody is looking at you, your original answer comes back.

It usually does.

This workshop is about what happened in between.

THE PART MOST WOMEN MISS

A lot of women already know what they want.

The trouble starts when somebody else has feelings about it.

You notice the pause.

The change in their breathing.

The look on their face.

The sharpness in their voice.

Your attention leaves what you know and lands squarely on them.

Are they angry?

Did I hurt them?

Was that selfish?

Should I explain it differently?

How quickly can I make this okay again?

That tiny handover is where your choice can disappear.

Their discomfort becomes your problem before you have even decided whether it belongs to you.

Whose Discomfort Is This? gives us somewhere to catch that moment and have a proper fucking look at it.

YOU MIGHT RECOGNIZE YOURSELF HERE

You can say no in your head, but out loud it grows an entire explanatory paragraph.

You spend more time preparing people for your decisions than making them.

You call yourself easygoing, but you are usually the one going without.

You can tell someone is upset before they have said a word, and immediately begin rearranging yourself.

You hold your ground beautifully until they go quiet, become disappointed or accuse you of being difficult.

You leave conversations having agreed to something you never consciously chose.

You replay the interaction later and wonder how the hell you ended up there again.

You don’t need another list of boundary scripts.

You need to see what happens to your choice when another person’s discomfort enters the room.

WHAT WE’RE ACTUALLY GOING TO DO

Bring one ordinary moment or interaction where this happens to you.

Maybe you changed your answer.

Agreed too quickly.

Over-explained.

Backtracked.

Tried to fix someone’s mood.

Said, “It’s fine,” when it absolutely was not fucking fine.

We’ll slow that exact moment down enough to notice:

What you knew before the interaction.
What changed when the other person reacted.
What your body did before you had time to think.
Which response took over.
What you suddenly felt responsible for.
Where your original choice went.

Then we’ll explore what it might look like to stay with yourself for a little longer.

Long enough to ask:

Is something actually wrong here, or is somebody simply uncomfortable with my choice?

Does this discomfort belong to me?

Was my response chosen, or was it the first one available?

I want you to leave with a clearer view of the handover.

The second when their discomfort becomes your assignment.

The point where your answer begins changing.

Because when you can notice that moment earlier, there may be enough room to keep your own choice in the conversation.

Maybe you keep the same answer.

Maybe you change it.

Either way, it gets to be your decision.

WHAT TO BRING

Bring one ordinary moment when somebody else’s discomfort affected what you said, chose or did.

Please don’t arrive carrying the most painful interaction you have ever survived just because you think deeper automatically means better.

It doesn’t.

Choose something small enough to examine without throwing your whole body into the fucking deep end.

For the workshop, please have:

A notebook and pen, if writing helps you think.
A shallow bowl or dish of water.
A small mirror that can safely sit inside the bowl.
A small towel.
Enough room to take one or two small steps forward and back, if that is accessible to you.

Don’t worry if you don’t have a suitable mirror. You can still attend, observe the practice and work with what is available to you.

You will not be required to share your example.

Your camera can stay off.

Every practice is an invitation. You can pause, sit down, adapt the movement or simply observe.

You remain in charge of how you participate.

BEFORE YOU REGISTER

This is an educational workshop for personal development. It is not therapy, mental-health treatment or medical care.

You remain in charge of your participation.

Pause when you need to.

Keep your experience private if that is what feels right.

You do not have to expose your deepest pain, turn your camera on or tell a room full of strangers your personal business to do this work.